This part of the File is dedicated to featuring some great work by Lindsay Henderson Edward of LuLuEdward Photography. This month, she sent us several photos that took on the spirit of vulnerability. These were our favorites. Read her incredibly gripping words about them below and stay tuned for more of her work in the next File…

LULU_vulnerability

In the past I’ve run from vulnerability as much as humanly possible. A culmination of experiences put me in a place where walls felt like my best option. Unfortunately, as I started a family, I discovered motherhood and vulnerability go hand in hand. My four year old son falls outside the spectrum of “normal” in terms of his social and emotional needs, and general take on life. To me, vulnerability is looking at my husband and admitting our child needs help in ways we’re not equipped. It’s mustering a smile in the check out line at Target, when your kid has come unglued, kicking you in the jaw while screaming obscenities. Vulnerability is exposing your heart fully to a child who, the next day, has picture perfect behavior but could snap at any minute. It’s looking him in the eye, through his crooked glasses, after holding him in a restraint for over an hour and saying, “You had a hard time, but it’s going to be ok because I love you no matter what.”

Then, there’s the added layer of vulnerability that comes with sharing that experience with anyone. On some level, I’m feeling naked even as I type this. The questions. The judgment. Am I a good mother? Maybe I should’ve eaten more folic acid while I was pregnant. Should I switch to all organic food? The list goes on. Cynicism and snark start to entangle in this overwhelming knot, and there’s plenty of room for self-doubt before you even scratch the surface of what everyone else thinks. This is where vulnerability gets messy. Motherhood requires a monumental level of thick skin, while simultaneously making vulnerability imperative. A distilling process of sorts, parenting is a daily test of your ability to send naysayers packing, while leaving your heart open to loving, helpful input from people who care.

Lindsay can be reached here for comment and bookings.

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